It's been a whole year now...

Since life as I knew it disintegrated in Barcelona. Alfredo is long gone from all of our lives. It's sad really as the only thing I can liken it to is mourning. He's not dead of course but to us he's gone the concept, the total veil of lies he created are gone forever, so therefore not dissimilar to death. I know it's crazy as the amount of financial and emotional damage he inflicted to Sienna and I along with all my friends and family was horrific, but there are days when I miss him. I know what I miss is the fake him the him that never existed so in that respect I don't think it's harmful. I miss having a partner someone to share life with and enjoy Sienna and Lilli with. I can't begin to explain how much work I've done since last August (with the help of my friends and family) to re-build my life, move countries, start a new job and 'move on'. Having this last month to myself here in London while Sienna holidayed with my family really gave me a lot of perspective... I've been trying to date with the empty hope to find someone to enjoy life with again , alas it's not that easy and nor will it ever be. I know there are stories of beautiful guys who don't care about the woman having a child and that they date, fall in love and live happily ever after... But that reality seems like a far off fairy tale to me...

So instead rather than focusing on trying to meet someone I've resolved to try and sharpen the focus elsewhere in life... get my fitness back, get miss Sienna out and about London and try not to feel so lonely. It's a long process and I'm the first to say it's not easy... but there aren't many other options to hand are there?